Decisiveness - :-)

Shortly after I posted yesterday, I spoke with my ND.  I explained to her my options and she  agreed that if I was going to go under general anyway, I might as well just do it once and get all the answers.  We talked for some time and I'm going to be pounding a lot of supplements this weekend and will see her Monday and Tuesday for vitamin B shots (hate those things, but it's worth it).  


So, the decision has been made.  There really aren't any other options.  The pain is getting ridiculous and I think by Wednesday I'm going to be ready to just be done with it.  This weekend is about calming my brain.  I sent some e-mails to family and between family and my amazing friends, I feel incredibly supported and know this is all going to be just fine.


My client and her husband who just had their 3rd baby on Tuesday dropped off a cheesecake and a variety of wonderful home made jams and jellies and this incredible blackberry sauce which is fantastic with the cheesecake.  They just had their 3rd baby and went out of their way for me.  It was incredibly touching and meant so much to me.


Opening up was hard, but I'm glad I did it.  I feel better about my decision.  I feel protected and loved and it's going to be easier to go into surgery that way.  


On a lighter note...last night I was joking with my oldest son, Jonathan, about what I really think is going on inside of me.  When he was 3 and we were waiting for my 2nd son, Christopher, to be born (who was born at a full 42 weeks),  Jonathan told me the reason Christopher was taking so long was because he was "boarding up the town".  This was said quite seriously with a straight face.  I looked at him and said, "What town?"  He sighed as though I was wasting his time and he said, "The town inside of you!"  I said, "There's a town inside of me?  How did it get there?" With another big sigh, he said "I built it!" I remember thinking what an amazing story this was and how serious he was about all of it.  I asked him where he got all the tools and with another big sigh he said, "From the hardware store!"  Who knew I had all of this inside of me?  And in Jonathan's mind, Christopher was taking so long to come out because he was busy boarding up all the windows and shutting down the town since there weren't going to be any more babies.  


It was the greatest story ever and it hit me last night...THAT's what all this is!  My old broken down town is crumbling.  That growth in my uterus is probably a tumbleweed that got lost as it was blowing through town.  ;-)  Imagine the shock on the doctor's face when she pulls out a tumbleweed!  :-)


This is a grateful turning point for me.  I can laugh about all this.  I'm feeling better about all of it.  I wrote SURGERY on my calendar for Wednesday.  I'm rearranging things a bit and clearing my calendar.  I'm currently trying to figure out if I can manage to teach Monday and Tuesday and keep me other various appointments when my pain is getting as bad as it is.  But I'm hopeful I can power through until Wednesday.  Thankfully, I've been so busy this last week that I haven't had much in the way of coffee so I've already done some detoxing.  I definitely don't want a caffeine withdrawal headache on Wednesday in addition to hunger pains and dehydration.  So, just one coffee a day between now and then and I'll be fine.  


I know...as Jonathan tells me all the time...1st world problems.  :-)


I know things could be so much worse.  This is just a small blip on the screen of my life.  I check in at 2, surgery at 3, in recovery by 4 and out the door by 5.  THREE hours of my life.  Three little hours.  Oh how they can have so much power.  But now I can do lots of practicing of what I teach in childbirth classes about mind over matter and the power of a slow breath.  And additionally, some practice on how to rest and slow down and how to accept help.  That part is actually the hardest really.  ;-)  


And honestly, I'm grateful to this pain right now because it is forcing me to take care of myself and for that, I am thankful.


By this time next week, I'll be well on the way to recovery and I'll have some answers, and hopefully out of this particular pain and can begin to move forward again.


Thanks to all of you for your help and support.  It's helped me make a confident decision and I'm feeling much better as I move forward.  :-)