I also learned that lots of people are afraid of flying, but not everyone has quite the extent of the phobia I have. And few people understand my fear. I will be forever grateful to the flight attendant on our last, and most difficult flight into Seattle who saw my fear and worked very hard to continue to reassure me throughout the flight. What I will forever regret is not being able to hold it together well enough that my insightful 10 year old didn't feel my fear. He handled himself much better than I did quite honestly. He'll be talking about this flight in his own therapy someday. :0
However, this whole experience really taught me a lot about fear and its power. Not everyone experiences fear the way I do. I have always been extra sensitive. I see the world differently than many people. I worry and think about things I really don't need to worry or think about. At the same time, I wouldn't want to be a different person. Does the stress and worry affect my health? Yes...and that I need to work on. But I don't want to change my experience of life. I watched a LOT of people on planes and in airports over the past week and so many people seem to walk through life sort of numb and unfeeling (I'm generalizing). I saw so many people ignoring other human beings or being rude to one another. I don't want to ever get to that place. I like who I am in spite of my fears and anxieties. Those things are simply my challenges in life. We all have challenges.
There were lots of other lessons this week which I appreciated. One of the big ones was about the pace of life. The Southeast just seemed to move slower. I saw very few people who seemed to be in a hurry. I can tell you that Olly and I absolutely looked like tourists every time we took our cell phones out to text or FB inside a restaurant. I didn't see anyone else do that in any of the restaurants where we ate. I'm not sure I've been in a restaurant locally where that isn't happening all the time. People in the SE seem to actually have a genuine care for other people and they...gasp...actually communicate and pay attention to one another. I can't say that honestly happens as much out here in the PNW. Don't get me wrong. I love it here. I can't imagine living anywhere else. And I always kind of liked to joke about those of us out here who can't even have a meal without FBing (myself included). But those phones stuck out like a sore thumb in the SE.
I thought part of it might just be population as it seemed like there were simply less people in NC and SC but then I looked up the population numbers and there are about 3 million MORE people in NC than in Washington State. It certainly didn't feel that way. There was MUCH less traffic, so many fewer crowds. I could drive North Carolina traffic any day. It is nothing like Seattle traffic. Of course, 2/3 of our population is on the Western side of the state where I live. Nonetheless, there are more people per square mile in both NC and SC than there is in Washington State. Yet, for whatever reason, the world seemed to move more slowly there and it wasn't just because I was on vacation. It was a very tangible difference to me and admittedly, I kind of miss that slower pace, even though I'm not sure this PNW girl could handle it long-term.
Another very large lesson for me came at Great Wolf Lodge on our first day. As I sat in the water park and looked around, I was struck by the fact that most of the employees throughout the lodge were African American. However, most of the guests were White. This bothered me a LOT. I was really struck by this racial disparity and have carried home my feelings about this situation. Jonathan and I had a long discussion about it. We live in a corner of the world where, of course, discrimination still exists. But no where have I ever felt such a difference than sitting in that water park and feeling incredibly WHITE and privileged. I didn't enjoy the feeling. And then on night two to watch the Hendricks family (NASCAR) walk through the water park for their family fun night, it was really quite shocking to see the amount of money and privilege that seemed to walk in with them. It was almost tangible, as though I could touch it. I wondered if any of them felt the way I did or noticed the disparity. I am certain many of the employees noticed it. It was definitely an enlightening and eye-opening experience and one that I will never forget.
On lighter notes, here's a list of other differences...mostly just silly but humorous:
* "Y'all" - gosh I love that phrase - it should be used more! :-)
* WAY more smokers. Most places had ash trays outside. Our hotels had ash trays on the decks outside. I haven't seen an ash tray in a public place in a LONG time out here.
* There are small cemeteries laid out on the side of the road all over the place in SC. I would have loved to have had the time to stop and look through them.
* Brick houses!! Gosh, I love brick houses. But they are not popular out here due to the fact they tend to crumble in an earthquake. I suppose they hold up great in a hurricane. But gosh, I love them. I always have. To see all those beautiful brick homes, almost all with big front porches and rocking chairs. Ahhhhh...I just loved it! And LAND...houses have land in the SE!!
* There was rice in the salt dispensers at restaurants. Can anyone answer this for me? We figured it had to do with keeping the moisture out due to the humidity?
* I saw a sugar dispenser for the first time in years. All the sugar comes in packets out here (where I am anyway). Olly looked around the table and said, "There's no sugar". I pointed out the big dispenser in the middle of the table and we both asked when the last time was when we had seen one of them. They seem much more environmentally friendly and seem to tie in with that slower pace of life thing from above. :-)
* The Atlantic Ocean is so WARM! As soon as we got to our hotel, I changed clothes and headed down to get my feet in that ocean. I stood on the sand and waited for the next wave and braced myself for the cold that never came. That water is INCREDIBLE. Wow. At the same time, the Atlantic is much more calm than the Pacific and I missed the power of the Pacific. The Pacific seemed to be the angry big brother to the Atlantic. Of course, I am sure that's different during a hurricane, but I have never seen the Pacific Ocean as calm as the Atlantic was when I there. Of course, that's the North Pacific and the South Atlantic too so there are those North and South differences as well.
* I apparently need to live near mountains. I missed the mountains a lot while I was gone. I felt like I was missing my security blanket. It felt so odd to look out and not see mountains. I kind of felt like I was going to fall off the edge of the Earth.
* Gas prices were SO much better in the SE than here in the NW!! Of course, saying gas between $3.40 and $3.60 is good is still kind of sad. But it's better than $4.00 gas here.
Upon returning home on Saturday, I really felt such a strong feeling of "home". Things that used to drive me nuts, no longer seemed to bother me. Just going to the grocery store was enjoyable when any other time I would complain about the grocery store on a Sunday. I learned how much I love the NW. Of course, I always knew that, but going away for a week made me love it even more. There were some beautiful things about the SE. Some things I wish I could have brought back here. But this is home for me and I love it here. And apparently, others do too. Every time we mentioned we were from Seattle, people reacted by telling us their Seattle story or saying they've heard how beautiful it is out here. :-)
It was odd to see some changes that have taken place since I've been gone. I was only gone for 6 days and I came home to a whole new season. Fall has arrived here and I LOVE it. I left during an 80 day dry streak and came home to my comfortable Fall weather. Granted, I didn't enjoy driving in it all day yesterday but I am still happy it's here. 5 days ago I was standing in the warm Atlantic Ocean and people were lying on the beach. In October! It was wonderful...but odd. THIS rain is October for me. :-)
There's a new building down the street from me that I didn't even know was being built. Um...I was only gone a week! And all the walls are up. Weird. My grocery store moved all their cart returns. I'm a creature of habit and have parked the same place every time I go to the store because of the placement of the cart return. And they moved it! :o Guess that's what I get for going away for a week. ;-)
And there's nothing better than the love of three cats who are SUPER excited to see you when you walk in the door. :-)
It was a fun week full of ups and downs and life lessons. Yep...I know some of you are travelers and think I'm ridiculous to have all these insights after one week on the other side of the country, but for me, this was a big deal. I haven't traveled in 17 years. I was much younger then. I look at the world differently now. I experience life differently. And this was an interesting week. My children traveled for the first time. They saw a different side of the country. They touched the Atlantic Ocean. That was important for me. But there were many more lessons learned and life lived. This has been a very interesting year in my life and there are still 2 1/2 months to go!
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